I’m also committed to sharing my work, so I’ve entered a few art shows.  It presents a dichotomy: one side of me is afraid to expose myself in such an intimate way, and the other, more courageous me is eager to see if my work touches people, also opening myself to criticism.  It’s an odd combination, and it’s liberating.

I’ve learned that my inner critic is alive and well.  I find myself thinking, planning, deliberating – and as a result my shoulders shrug up with tension.  Then, I remember that creating art is meant to be fun and free.  I take a few deep breaths and begin again.  It’s amazing to me how important it is to create something beautiful, and how much I judge myself for lacking the talent I somehow think I should have. I wonder how this shows up for me in other areas of my life. How I do anything is how I do everything.

My life’s work is creating transformation, for myself and others.  There is a deep connection to this work, through my art.  I can look inside, finding my inner artist and notice with love and acceptance all the ways I choose to block my creativity.  Will someone look at my art and reject that I’m an artist?  Will I look at my art and reject the belief that I’m an artist?  Will I embarrass myself, displaying my art in an art show, while right next to me is a “real” artist?  Will I be exposed as a “wannabe” artist?  My desire to please people rears up and claims my inner critic. It’s such fantastic space to wake up into.

I choose to be gentle with myself.  I choose to accept that in this way, I’m a beginner.  I choose the joy that comes from creating, over the disappointment that comes from not playing the game at all.  I choose to love the inner artist in me, with arms wide open.

The above amazing artwork was created by my client, as his creative interpretation of me.  I love that he is awakening his inner artist, too.  We teach what we most need to learn, it seems – over and over again.

What is inside you, that you’ve ignored? What would you love to create, if you had the courage? What if you DO have the courage?

Leave a comment in the space below, declaring your commitment.  Your whole life is created through your language, and your commitment occurs through the action you take.  It all begins with your declaration.

Will you accept my challenge?  Will you create a life with fewer regrets?  Will you cultivate powerful relationships in your own life, while you still have time? Will you love more, and fear less?

You’re amazing.

Love,

And still, I’m conscious of the simple fact that for every day I live on this earth, I’m one day closer to the death of my physical body.  There is one less day to fulfill God’s purpose for me. Since my world view is nearly always positive, I prefer to focus on the time that’s left, rather than the time that’s behind me.  I wonder what I can accomplish today that will add to the legacy of love that I’m committed to creating.

I’m intimately reminded of my mortality through my renewed relationship with my dad, who is dying of terminal, untreatable cancer.  I’ve not had much of a relationship with him until now.  He’s always been nearby geographically, yet neither of us chose in the past to spend the time to create a powerful relationship.  Now that we have a clear view of his limited and precious time, we are choosing to create something more meaningful together.

And by we, I really mean me.  I am choosing.

In these last days with him, it would be easy for me to focus on the dad he never was, condemning him for being less than what I deserved or expected.  That would be a natural fallback position – to make him wrong for his lack of interest in building a relationship with me, his third daughter. I would certainly be justified in my stance.  Many people would say that my dad missed the opportunity to be a real dad to me.  That he’s to blame for everything in the past. He was, after all, the grown up.  The responsible one.

I have responsibility too.  If having a relationship with him was important enough to me, I would have pursued it more.  I teach people to view their choices in terms of commitment.  If I were committed to the outcome of having a great father-daughter relationship, I would have taken the action to make it happen.  I didn’t do that. Until now.

Now, I’m not only investing more time, I’m showing up differently during our time together.  I’m resisting my urge to judge him.  I’m replacing my disappointment in what we didn’t have, with loving acceptance for what we do have, and what we will have.  I’m choosing to believe he did the best he could at any given time, and frankly so did I. I’m forgiving both of us.

My willingness to forgive has led me to make possible a second chance with him – a do-over, if you will.  The conversations I’m having with my dad are not trivial, as most of my past conversations have been.  They mean more now.  I ask questions, curious about his view on his life. I ask him about his faith, and about what will happen to him spiritually when he leaves here. I hear him tell stories of his growing up years, his mind still sharp as a tack.

I want to know what has brought him joy, and through these moments together I’m learning that he is very much in touch with his own version of joy. I listen to him talk about his regrets, knowing in his heart of hearts, he wishes he would have spent more time with me, too.  We’re healing wounds I wasn’t conscious of having.

Selfishly, I’m interested in how he sees me.  Yesterday, I got to hear how proud he is of me and what I’ve accomplished in my life – and actually for the first time, I believed him.  I guess we all have a need, ultimately, to know that our parents are proud of us, regardless of who we are or where else we get our worthiness validation.

As our second chance unfolds, I’m grateful for the moments we have shared, and have yet to share.  I’m thrilled for the memories we’re making.  I don’t know how much time we have left, which reminds me to live in the moment, precious as each one is.  Whatever time that’s left is perfect and part of God’s plan for both of us.  Until the ink runs out in his pen, I’ll be listening intently, imprinting his presence on my heart with each insight and declaration.

Surprisingly, he speaks of love so naturally and effortlessly, as if it’s all he knows and has ever known.  I wonder how I could have missed that about him?  It makes me feel so happy to know it now.  I’m loving him with abandon; the wild, un-expiring, and unconditional love meant to be present between a little girl and her dad.

Taking his cue, I am loving him like I never have before.  It’s a wonderful experience, this second chance at loving and being loved in the last chapter of my dad’s long life of 80 years. For that, I’m eternally grateful.

I’m inspired by some recent examples of people stepping up to bat and taking swings.  Striking out, and stepping up again.  It seems now is the time to put away the safe stories and explore what’s possible on the creative edge. 

Take Erin Giles, who has powerfully stepped up to take a stand to end sex trafficking and free thousands of women and children by educating others about the cause.  She is a mom of a two year old, a wife, a business coach, and a world changer.  When she became passionate about her project, there were many reasons she could have backed off of it.  Her baby is active and adorable and definitely a full time job. Her business is just getting off the ground and cash flow is important.  At times it was difficult and tedious and a few times her hopes were dashed. 

And yet, her movement is alive.  It launched yesterday, and I’d be mighty grateful if you became part of the cause, by clicking through to here and here.  She could have allowed herself to “get in her own way”. But she didn’t. Sometimes, you just have to keep moving, and stop thinking.  You have to tell the fear to go away, you’ve got this.

Another client, Casey Addinsall, has a vision for young people.  A young person herself, she is creating something so powerful, I had to get involved.  In her words “The Flamingo Society has been formed to inform, promote and encourage positive attitudes toward issues of image and identity within youth culture. The society is a live and evolving space for people aged between 16-25 to visit, hang, learn and contribute to the creation of their own confident culture. We’re a community of all kinds of real live people who have been through all sorts of experiences, and come out the other side in one piece (mostly) and better for it.”

She has a vision, and she’s leaning into all kinds of scary edges to make it come alive.  She’s wise beyond her years.  She is serving in ways most young adults in their 20′s can’t even see as possible.  Her fears are alive and real to her, and yet she faces them head-on and acts anyway.  It’s such a vital mission to support young developing minds to be confident and fearless, and that’s exactly what The Flamingo Society will do.  Casey is looking for contributors, of all kinds.  You can learn more about her beautiful love child by clicking here or here.  Casey is unstoppable.

I could also mention big projects and huge growth coming from other participants in Project Liberation.  They’re all kicking serious butt in the liberation department.  I’m kind of like a proud momma who goes on and on about the accomplishments of her children.  And you get the drift, so I won’t ramble on.

The morale of the story?  It doesn’t matter how old or young you are.  Nor does it matter how much fear informs you right now.  Makes no difference if you have a stockpile of money or if you live on the edge of poverty. All that really matters is what you believe, and what you will stand for.  And which kind of edge you’d rather live on.

There is something in you waiting to be born. 

You can either allow yourself to be stopped, or you can carry on – one baby step at a time.  The choice is always, and only always yours.  And the next round of Project Liberation begins in July.  It’s not too soon to reserve your spot so that your LOVE CHILD can be born.  (I’ve always wanted to be a doula!)

Big Love,

It’s less than an hour long, and here’s the payoff for listening:

This will help you…

• If you ever thought of hiring a coach
• If you ever thought of being a coach
• If you want to gain a better understanding of the power of clarity
• If you want to hear what being fully expressed sounds like
• If you’re wondering how adversity can be your friend
• If you want to be inspired to live a bigger life
• If you want to learn more about my unique personal journey

Thank you for being part of my journey.

Love,